Addicted to Offense
Ephesians 4:26–27 (NIV)
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Offense doesn’t just happen to us—it hooks us. Neuroscience shows that when we get offended, our brain releases dopamine, the same chemical tied to pleasure and reward. It actually feels good to be offended. That’s why we keep replaying the conversation, telling the story to someone new, waiting for someone to validate our side. Offense gets rewarded in our minds—and that reinforcement becomes a trap.
But it goes deeper. When someone joins us in our offense—when they agree with us or share our outrage—our brains release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. We literally connect through bitterness. That’s how offense spreads through families, friend groups, and churches. One person gets hurt, others gather around, and suddenly an entire community is shaped not by grace, but by grievance.
Paul warns us not to let the sun go down on our anger—not because anger itself is always sinful, but because unaddressed offense becomes a foothold for the enemy. The longer it lingers, the deeper it digs in. And soon, what started as a reaction becomes a stronghold.
If offense feels good, that doesn’t mean it’s good. What’s rewarding you in the moment may be robbing you long-term. Ask yourself today: Am I feeding on offense for the hit it gives me? And what is that hit costing me?
Prayer:
Jesus, reveal any place in me where I’ve made offense a habit. Help me see where I’ve let anger linger, where I’ve replayed hurt for my own reward. I don’t want to live from dopamine hits and broken connections—I want to live from Your Spirit. Free me from the cycle. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Offense doesn’t just happen to us—it hooks us. Neuroscience shows that when we get offended, our brain releases dopamine, the same chemical tied to pleasure and reward. It actually feels good to be offended. That’s why we keep replaying the conversation, telling the story to someone new, waiting for someone to validate our side. Offense gets rewarded in our minds—and that reinforcement becomes a trap.
But it goes deeper. When someone joins us in our offense—when they agree with us or share our outrage—our brains release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. We literally connect through bitterness. That’s how offense spreads through families, friend groups, and churches. One person gets hurt, others gather around, and suddenly an entire community is shaped not by grace, but by grievance.
Paul warns us not to let the sun go down on our anger—not because anger itself is always sinful, but because unaddressed offense becomes a foothold for the enemy. The longer it lingers, the deeper it digs in. And soon, what started as a reaction becomes a stronghold.
If offense feels good, that doesn’t mean it’s good. What’s rewarding you in the moment may be robbing you long-term. Ask yourself today: Am I feeding on offense for the hit it gives me? And what is that hit costing me?
Prayer:
Jesus, reveal any place in me where I’ve made offense a habit. Help me see where I’ve let anger linger, where I’ve replayed hurt for my own reward. I don’t want to live from dopamine hits and broken connections—I want to live from Your Spirit. Free me from the cycle. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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