When Offense Becomes Identity
Ephesians 4:31–32 (NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Offense always starts as a moment—but if you hold on to it long enough, it starts shaping your mindset, your relationships, even your identity. You stop just being offended, and start becoming an offended person. Everything is personal. Everything is filtered through hurt. It’s no longer what happened to you—it’s who you are now.
This is why Paul doesn’t just say “try not to be bitter”—he says get rid of it. All of it. Bitterness, rage, slander, malice—these things don’t belong in the life of someone who’s been forgiven by Jesus. But offense is sneaky. We convince ourselves we’re just being “honest,” “real,” or “strong.” But deep down, we’re letting that offense define our worth, our story, and our spiritual posture.
You can’t walk in newness if you’re still holding onto what someone said or didn’t say. And you can’t reflect Christ while carrying a list of grudges. Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s spiritual authority. It’s saying, “You don’t get to name me—Jesus already did.”
Today, check your heart. Ask: Am I reacting out of who I am in Christ, or out of who offense has made me?
Prayer:
Father, I don’t want to be known by my bitterness. I don’t want offense to define me. You’ve called me to kindness, compassion, and forgiveness—and You’ve shown me how to live it. Remind me who I am in You. Help me let go of anything that doesn’t reflect that. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Offense always starts as a moment—but if you hold on to it long enough, it starts shaping your mindset, your relationships, even your identity. You stop just being offended, and start becoming an offended person. Everything is personal. Everything is filtered through hurt. It’s no longer what happened to you—it’s who you are now.
This is why Paul doesn’t just say “try not to be bitter”—he says get rid of it. All of it. Bitterness, rage, slander, malice—these things don’t belong in the life of someone who’s been forgiven by Jesus. But offense is sneaky. We convince ourselves we’re just being “honest,” “real,” or “strong.” But deep down, we’re letting that offense define our worth, our story, and our spiritual posture.
You can’t walk in newness if you’re still holding onto what someone said or didn’t say. And you can’t reflect Christ while carrying a list of grudges. Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s spiritual authority. It’s saying, “You don’t get to name me—Jesus already did.”
Today, check your heart. Ask: Am I reacting out of who I am in Christ, or out of who offense has made me?
Prayer:
Father, I don’t want to be known by my bitterness. I don’t want offense to define me. You’ve called me to kindness, compassion, and forgiveness—and You’ve shown me how to live it. Remind me who I am in You. Help me let go of anything that doesn’t reflect that. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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