What's Really Behind The Offense
James 1:19–20 (NLT)
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
Most of us don’t think of ourselves as angry people. We say things like “I’m just passionate,” or “I’m direct,” or “I don’t hold grudges… I just don’t forget.” But Scripture challenges that kind of thinking. James isn’t writing to hotheads or fighters. He’s writing to believers. And he warns that unresolved anger and reactive behavior don’t just hurt our witness. They actually obstruct the righteousness God desires to build in us. In other words, holding onto offense doesn’t just damage relationships, it damages your spiritual growth.
What if your quick temper or lingering offense isn’t really about the person who offended you last week? What if it’s rooted in something deeper? Maybe you’re not just mad at your spouse, coworker, or old pastor. Maybe you’re disappointed with how life turned out. Or maybe you’re even bitter with God, but haven’t said it out loud. Offense often grows in the shadows of unprocessed pain. It doesn’t stay isolated. Left unchecked, it spills into every relationship, every conversation, and every decision we make.
There’s a reason God invites us to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Anger clouds judgment. Offense hardens hearts. But grace? Grace softens. Grace listens. Grace slows things down. If we want to become spiritually healthy, emotionally healed people, we need to start by asking honest questions. “What am I really angry about? Who am I actually mad at?” Don’t settle for surface answers. Dig deeper. Offense is often a symptom, but God wants to deal with the source.
Prayer:
God, I don’t want to live offended. I don’t want to spend my energy replaying what they said or holding onto bitterness that’s poisoning my peace. Help me slow down. Help me listen to Your Spirit before I speak in my flesh. If there’s something deeper You want to reveal, whether it’s disappointment with life, people, or even with You, bring it to the surface so You can heal it. I trust You with my thoughts, my wounds, and my emotions. Rewire me from the inside out. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
Most of us don’t think of ourselves as angry people. We say things like “I’m just passionate,” or “I’m direct,” or “I don’t hold grudges… I just don’t forget.” But Scripture challenges that kind of thinking. James isn’t writing to hotheads or fighters. He’s writing to believers. And he warns that unresolved anger and reactive behavior don’t just hurt our witness. They actually obstruct the righteousness God desires to build in us. In other words, holding onto offense doesn’t just damage relationships, it damages your spiritual growth.
What if your quick temper or lingering offense isn’t really about the person who offended you last week? What if it’s rooted in something deeper? Maybe you’re not just mad at your spouse, coworker, or old pastor. Maybe you’re disappointed with how life turned out. Or maybe you’re even bitter with God, but haven’t said it out loud. Offense often grows in the shadows of unprocessed pain. It doesn’t stay isolated. Left unchecked, it spills into every relationship, every conversation, and every decision we make.
There’s a reason God invites us to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Anger clouds judgment. Offense hardens hearts. But grace? Grace softens. Grace listens. Grace slows things down. If we want to become spiritually healthy, emotionally healed people, we need to start by asking honest questions. “What am I really angry about? Who am I actually mad at?” Don’t settle for surface answers. Dig deeper. Offense is often a symptom, but God wants to deal with the source.
Prayer:
God, I don’t want to live offended. I don’t want to spend my energy replaying what they said or holding onto bitterness that’s poisoning my peace. Help me slow down. Help me listen to Your Spirit before I speak in my flesh. If there’s something deeper You want to reveal, whether it’s disappointment with life, people, or even with You, bring it to the surface so You can heal it. I trust You with my thoughts, my wounds, and my emotions. Rewire me from the inside out. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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