Ask, Don't Assume
Proverbs 18:13 (NIV)
To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
One of the fastest ways offense takes root is through assumption. Someone doesn’t text back, and we assume they’re ignoring us. A leader doesn’t acknowledge our effort, and we assume we’re undervalued. A friend makes a vague post, and we assume it’s about us. Offense thrives in the space between what happened and what we assumed it meant. That’s why Proverbs reminds us — it’s foolish to react before listening, before asking, before understanding.
One of the most powerful tools in overcoming offense is what we call The Curious Questioner. It’s the practice of stepping back and saying, “Is there another way to see this?” Instead of reacting out of hurt, you get curious. “I wonder what they’re walking through.” “Maybe they didn’t even realize how that came across.” “I should ask before I assume.” This kind of internal dialogue can defuse the emotional bomb that offense tries to trigger.
Jesus was never quick to assume the worst. Even from the cross, as He was being mocked and crucified, He prayed, “Father, forgive them — they don’t know what they’re doing.” That wasn’t just grace. It was clarity. Jesus didn’t excuse their sin, but He understood the ignorance behind it. That mindset frees you. You may still need to confront a situation, but you won’t do it carrying the weight of a false narrative. You’ll come from a place of humility and hope, not pride and pain.
Prayer:
God, help me stop jumping to conclusions. Teach me to slow down and ask honest questions before I assume the worst. Help me look at others the way You look at me — with grace, patience, and understanding. Let curiosity replace my defensiveness. Help me love well, listen better, and walk in truth. And when I do need to confront, let it be from a heart that wants to heal, not hurt. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
One of the fastest ways offense takes root is through assumption. Someone doesn’t text back, and we assume they’re ignoring us. A leader doesn’t acknowledge our effort, and we assume we’re undervalued. A friend makes a vague post, and we assume it’s about us. Offense thrives in the space between what happened and what we assumed it meant. That’s why Proverbs reminds us — it’s foolish to react before listening, before asking, before understanding.
One of the most powerful tools in overcoming offense is what we call The Curious Questioner. It’s the practice of stepping back and saying, “Is there another way to see this?” Instead of reacting out of hurt, you get curious. “I wonder what they’re walking through.” “Maybe they didn’t even realize how that came across.” “I should ask before I assume.” This kind of internal dialogue can defuse the emotional bomb that offense tries to trigger.
Jesus was never quick to assume the worst. Even from the cross, as He was being mocked and crucified, He prayed, “Father, forgive them — they don’t know what they’re doing.” That wasn’t just grace. It was clarity. Jesus didn’t excuse their sin, but He understood the ignorance behind it. That mindset frees you. You may still need to confront a situation, but you won’t do it carrying the weight of a false narrative. You’ll come from a place of humility and hope, not pride and pain.
Prayer:
God, help me stop jumping to conclusions. Teach me to slow down and ask honest questions before I assume the worst. Help me look at others the way You look at me — with grace, patience, and understanding. Let curiosity replace my defensiveness. Help me love well, listen better, and walk in truth. And when I do need to confront, let it be from a heart that wants to heal, not hurt. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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